It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
either way he was missing a nipple.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
