chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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