can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
