Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
