I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
