When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
