OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
