We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
