Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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