I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
