Where did you get a picture of my penis
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My ATM looks so different sober.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
