He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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