Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
