Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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