i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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