I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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