Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My cat gives me a boner
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
