Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
