home. puking in laundry basket.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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