what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
