Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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