I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize