Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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