So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
