sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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