i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
