Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
