Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize