dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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