we have officially lost it.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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