i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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