Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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