dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize