I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
