I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
