There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
