im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
