Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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