last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
