but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
ttyl tear gas
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
