i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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