I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
