If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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