She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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