planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
