i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Help me help you realize you are a moron
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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