I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You need Xanax blowdarts
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
