I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize