You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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