I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
