You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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