dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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