all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
