I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
